Ad Astra Per Audentia

Beyond a number of the songs being bangers, they kind of speak to me.

POP MUSIC: "~ Babe, I'm gonna love you like nobody else ~"
ME: "No, you're not."
DANCE MUSIC: "Yeaaahhh, this night is gonna last forever!"
ME: "No, it isn't."
INDUSTRIAL MUSIC: "THE MACHINES CRUSH THE BONES OF MAN TO DUST"
ME: " . . . . I find this relatable."

I thought the 13 Year Old Self Dictionary series was going to max out at 4, but what do you know, I had one more in me! Though this one turned out less "half funny, half pathos" and more "100% personal psychogical breakthrough." Oh, well. Hey, Krulle, Christmas came early!

Okay, so if I can't post any new art for the moment, I can at least give you the rundown on what's happened to me. Basically, it's my fangirl gland acting up again for the first time in years, and trust me when I tell you I am as surprised as you are. I considered my 29th year my more-or-less official exit from public fandom life, and while I would always remember it fondly, I wasn't sad to go. My time was over, and besides, I'd seen enough seventy-year-old fangirls to know that that wasn't what I wanted to be.

(Not addressing acelightning with this one - besides, she's not a science fiction "fangirl," she is a connoisseur.)

So, excellent, I'm a fujoshi in retirement. At least, I was, until my fangirl gland reactivated to pull me in for one last heist.

I fell into this thing with the force of a plummeting meteor and it's taken over my entire brain. It reminds me of a time when my old mentor sent me a giant Katz's salami for my birthday one year, and I made it last for eleven days. For those eleven days, literally the only thing I was thinking, no matter what I was doing, was "Oh boy! I can't wait until I get home from work / wake up / have lunch /etc. so I can eat that salami again!" Yes, the withdrawal period after those days were a sad thing to watch. But the point is, I am living again in that same moment of eternal joyful anticipation centered on a single focus - "Oh boy! I can't wait until I get home from work / wake up / finish lunch / etc. so I can DRAW CRAZY FAN-RELATED SHIT FOR LIKE TWO HOURS AT A TIME."

I'm drawing every day. If I'm not drawing, I'm either scripting or doing postproduction. I haven't felt like this since my prime Bunnies days. What did I used to say about art camp? "I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I started aging in reverse like Benjamin Button . . . " It feels almost just like that.

So, now, the $64,000 question - why aren't I showing YOU guys, my oldest online friends and fans, any of this shit?

Put simply, I am so fucking ashamed of myself for getting into this fandom (and this pairing. Yes, I got in because of a pairing. No, I haven't drawn anything erotic. Yet.)

I am doing this under a completely different name, and on TWITTER of all places. When I started, I absolutely hated Twitter, it made my skin itch and everything smelled like pee. But I am now trapped in an incredible hedonic treadmill of likes and retweets that rule my life the way the cycles of the sun and moon ruled the life of Early Man.

You might find me in the wild, but I doubt it. This community is small, as the intellectual property it's founded on is relatively new, but the fandom is dedicated and it's growing every day. It also skews much younger, while my people here skew "sophisticated." Makes me realize how old I am, I had to consult Urban Dictionary the other day to figure out what someone meant by someone "having cake." It's a butt, by the way. "Cake" means a nice butt. The funny thing is that the one major thing missing from the community that it seemed to desperately desire above almost all else? Comics. They wanted comics. And I wanted to make them. And I am now feverishly filling that niche like Ron Jeremy on Viagra. I can't stop. I won't stop. It's lasting longer than four hours and I DON'T CARE.

If, IF, this thing gets big enough that I become forced to recombine identities, I have no doubt that I'll end up sharing all of this with you. But right now, I'm afraid I just couldn't live with myself if I did it. So, I appreciate your patience, and if by some satanic miracle you find and recognize me in the wild, please, please don't out me yet. I'll try to make some "primary identity" stuff for the journal or website when I get the ability, but right now, I'm not in control. The little piece of my soul that I partitioned off and sent out into the world is. She's having a grand old time, and I have no idea when she's coming back.

Just sayin'.

Holy shit am I in a weird place in my life. I feel like a dead tree stump with a new small, limber little branch, tiny green leaves and all, growing off the side of me. It's a part of me I'm afraid I can't share in my blog. Just know that I'm keeping the art hand limber and as soon as I return to stuff I can put here, I'm bringing it back.

In the meantime, I'll share the only thing I've made worth sharing - the Father's Day card I made for my dad last month. Behold, the work of heavily-antidepressant-medicated visionary Francisco Joy-a, "Saturn Devouring His FUN!"

I put it up a little early, but it looks like Krulle already found it!

Well, that's it for this project. It was relatively short, I know, but it felt good to make it, and I hope that other people got something out of it as well.

So, what's next? Not sure. I do know that it will need more time to prepare once I choose it, so I don't drop the ball as much as I did this time. And I'm going to try one last shot to get Dog published, though if they don't want it, I can't imagine who else would. I'm afraid I don't have much else to tell you at the moment. The path gets foggier with every step I take. I can only hope that it lets out somewhere good.

I have nothing clever to say, I have no idea if the comic was worth the buildup, but my god am I just glad to be done with this thing and all its piddling little details that might not even be visible at this size anyway, and all I can say about this comic page is

IT IS DONE.

One more page afterward coming up next Wednesday, it's already preloaded, this is never happening AGAIN.

Well, we just finished Mother’s Day, and I wanted to make my mom something that at least matched if not exceeded her birthday card, so I made this:



That’s a speedy repro of Van Gogh’s “Vase With Peonies” (1886). The real deal looks like this:

https://uploads0.wikiart.org/images/vincent-van-gogh/vase-with-peonies-1886.jpg

Yeah, Van Gogh, I ain't. And you certainly can't recreate the physicality of painted brushstrokes when you're working in PEN. But for, the time and the difficulty rating, I don't think it was so bad.

Don't worry, still workin' on Dog. ;)

I am postponing the update until next week. The postproduction is taking longer than I anticipated - this one is actually a little big. Rushing through it would just keep me up all night and STILL result in a subpar comic. So, gonna treat myself, I guess, to a little more time. I am sorry for the delay. But at least I promise no more delays after this!

Heh. Because there are only two more updates after this.

But at least I can promise it will look nice!

Since the test came up negative, it ain’t Da Bug ™️ , but since I got back my body has been yelling at me for everything I put it through and the comic will be a day late.

That said, fucking WORTH IT.

Also, here’s an image dump from OmegaMart in Las Vegas’ renowned Area15. This was the reason I went there in the first place. Everyone should go - at $45 for potentially over four hours of entertainment, it’s the best deal in town. Can you believe all these photos came from one place?

Next comic is up. Getting too sappy for words here, may need to be taken to the hospital and checked for brain parasites!

Working hard on the next update already, but unfortunately this one is kind of elaborate and I really, really hope I'll have the ability to finish it on time, especially considering my upcoming trip. Then I can kill brain cells and lose money with a clear conscience. :)