Okay, so if I can't post any new art for the moment, I can at least give you the rundown on what's happened to me. Basically, it's my fangirl gland acting up again for the first time in years, and trust me when I tell you I am as surprised as you are. I considered my 29th year my more-or-less official exit from public fandom life, and while I would always remember it fondly, I wasn't sad to go. My time was over, and besides, I'd seen enough seventy-year-old fangirls to know that that wasn't what I wanted to be.
(Not addressing acelightning
with this one - besides, she's not a science fiction "fangirl," she is a connoisseur.
So, excellent, I'm a fujoshi in retirement. At least, I was, until my fangirl gland reactivated to pull me in for one last heist.
I fell into this thing with the force of a plummeting meteor and it's taken over my entire brain. It reminds me of a time when my old mentor sent me a giant Katz's salami for my birthday one year, and I made it last for eleven days. For those eleven days, literally the only thing I was thinking, no matter what I was doing, was "Oh boy! I can't wait until I get home from work / wake up / have lunch /etc. so I can eat that salami again!" Yes, the withdrawal period after those days were a sad thing to watch. But the point is, I am living again in that same moment of eternal joyful anticipation centered on a single focus - "Oh boy! I can't wait until I get home from work / wake up / finish lunch / etc. so I can DRAW CRAZY FAN-RELATED SHIT FOR LIKE TWO HOURS AT A TIME."
I'm drawing every day. If I'm not drawing, I'm either scripting or doing postproduction. I haven't felt like this since my prime Bunnies days. What did I used to say about art camp? "I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, I started aging in reverse like Benjamin Button . . . " It feels almost just like that.
So, now, the $64,000 question - why aren't I showing YOU guys, my oldest online friends and fans, any of this shit?
Put simply, I am so fucking ashamed of myself for getting into this fandom (and this pairing. Yes, I got in because of a pairing. No, I haven't drawn anything erotic. Yet.)
I am doing this under a completely different name, and on TWITTER of all places. When I started, I absolutely hated Twitter, it made my skin itch and everything smelled like pee. But I am now trapped in an incredible hedonic treadmill of likes and retweets that rule my life the way the cycles of the sun and moon ruled the life of Early Man.
You might find me in the wild, but I doubt it. This community is small, as the intellectual property it's founded on is relatively new, but the fandom is dedicated and it's growing every day. It also skews much younger, while my people here skew "sophisticated." Makes me realize how old I am, I had to consult Urban Dictionary the other day to figure out what someone meant by someone "having cake." It's a butt, by the way. "Cake" means a nice butt. The funny thing is that the one major thing missing from the community that it seemed to desperately desire above almost all else? Comics. They wanted comics. And I wanted to make them. And I am now feverishly filling that niche like Ron Jeremy on Viagra. I can't stop. I won't stop. It's lasting longer than four hours and I DON'T CARE.
If, IF, this thing gets big enough that I become forced to recombine identities, I have no doubt that I'll end up sharing all of this with you. But right now, I'm afraid I just couldn't live with myself if I did it. So, I appreciate your patience, and if by some satanic miracle you find and recognize me in the wild, please, please don't out me yet. I'll try to make some "primary identity" stuff for the journal or website when I get the ability, but right now, I'm not in control. The little piece of my soul that I partitioned off and sent out into the world is. She's having a grand old time, and I have no idea when she's coming back.